Original Advice
“You are allowed to... define niceness on your terms - Prefer practical help over pep talks, or vice versa. Asking for the style of care you need does not make you difficult; it makes you clear. Your boundaries and theirs can coexist without guilt.”
Redefine Nice. Keep Your Spine.
Stop calling self-erasure kindness. People praise your niceness when you make their load lighter and your spine softer. You streamline chaos for them and swallow the grit. That is maintenance, not love. The uncomfortable truth: your silence trains others to expect free labor from your nervous system. If pep talks drain you, stop offering them. If practical help overextends you, step back. Nice without limits is leak.
Define niceness on your terms. Choose the format: a checklist, a call, silence, cash, soup. Ask for the care that actually works, and give only what you can deliver cleanly. Clarity prevents resentment; boundaries keep compassion sharp. When you name the style, people can meet you or reveal themselves. Either way, energy returns to you, not the void.
Cosmic Context
You are Mercury-ruled earth: precision married to service. Editing the world is your gift; edit how care happens.
Action
──────Send one message specifying the help you want.
✨ You are allowed to ask for the style you need. ✨